Hear me out, beloved

Hear me out, beloved.

I know today was tough. I know your body’s tired, and you’re bracing yourself for another week of endless deadlines, but I also know that more than your skin and bones, it is your heart that needs to rest.

Let’s rewind the tape and go to March. Lo and behold, you came into the bitter realization that your heart has done it again this time.

Oh, that tricky, deceitful thing has done it again.

And the next thing you see is you, looking for this familiar face everywhere in this city. Your brain is on a roll, so your hands won’t stop typing and writing about this familiar face.

Your heart has been restless again. Alright, point taken. I heard you there. It fluttered a lot of times before, because of other faces that you’ve met. But when was the last time that your heart has been THIS restless?

That was a few years ago.

Now, it has done it again. Oh no, you’re out of control. The abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Nagbubuhol na naman ‘yang dila mo. Kung anu-ano na naman ‘yang sinasabi mo. Kung anu-ano na naman ‘yang mga iniisip mo.

It’s all because of this familiar face.

What if I came across him? I might run.
What if someone brings his name up? Deadma ka lang.
What if he sees you first and calls your attention? Nope. That’s way too unlikely to happen.

It’s just like this. Every single day.

Beloved, more than anything in your body, it is your heart that needs rest. I know you have so much love to give. It overflows, that even the cats from next door are able to receive your affection. You love a lot, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You should be grateful that even though this world is full of so much hatred and violence, you have the capacity to give so much love. Not everyone is capable of that.

But that doesn’t mean that you can’t take a rest. It’s okay to stop, beloved. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to realize that you deserve to be loved back by someone.

And I know you’re not a quitter when it comes to this, but let me remind you: it is okay to quit. It is okay to surrender.

Do not blame yourself if they won’t accept the love you’re able to give. It is not your fault, beloved.

I know you wish them well. I know that you understand how nobody deserves to feel unloved, that’s exactly why you love them. I get it, beloved. You don’t want them to feel that they’re not important. Or unloved. Because they aren’t.

Fact is, they are important to you. You love them.

But how about you, beloved? You do not deserve to feel unloved as well.

And no, this doesn’t mean you have to ask for something in return. If someone doesn’t love you back, that’s life. That’s your love being wasted, but that’s reality and it happens.

But you, beloved, you can love yourself in return.

You are important. You are loved. That’s why I am pleading you, let your heart surrender this fight.

Mapagod ka na. Sumuko ka na. Walang masama ‘don. Gano’n talaga.

It’s never wrong to wait for the chance to meet someone that is willing to accept the love that you’re able to give. It’s better than giving so much love to someone that’s not even capable of acknowledging the kind of love you bring. You don’t deserve that, beloved.

So never, ever surrender the love that you have for yourself.

Someday, you’ll thank me for this.

Love,
Yourself

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